According to the book Real Loveunconditional love is, in essence, true love -- so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves a definition of its own. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It is not unconditional love when other people like us for doing what they want or because we give them what they demand of us.
When we make a seemingly poor choice about our lives, take a wrong turn, undo or sabotage our own happiness To love another person under any circumstances is not relegated to passionate love either. Unconditional love allows you to love yourself first, so that you have the strength of heart How to achieve unconditional love relationship mind to give the same to another person. Friends and family can be completely unconditional with their love for you, however it is pretty rare; we are programed to be conditional, to expect something in return for our love.
We are quite specifically conditioned to only give love when we are reciprocated, and most often according to what we think is worthy of our love. Unconditional love is not a loan needing to be repaid, but a string-less gift of the heart - a gesture where only you benefit directly.
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On the occasion you are fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of such an act of thoughtfulness, the experience can be both endearing and a bit awkward -- what do you do for someone who gives to you unconditionally of themselves and asks for nothing in return?
Recently I had such an experience and it has given me a sense of value that is very treasured. Loving unconditionally is more a behavior versus a feeling.
Loving is the act of extending ourselves, vulnerabilities and all, into uncharted emotional territory with the belief that regardless of the outcome, we want to benefit another person. Imagine love as a behavior in and of itself, with the satisfaction being that feeling you get when you act a certain way for them, not when someone else acts a certain way to you. This becomes a pure act of generosity.
Ask yourself "Am I truly acting with the most love I can for this person at this moment? Unconditional love is a entirely new process for us in every situation, and we want to convey sincerity with each person we extend that love to so that it is genuine and not conditional.
To love someone unconditionally does not mean that the act of that love is always going to be easy or feel comfortable. Unconditional love means you tell them the truth with gentle, kind communication and you are there, without judgement, to see them to the other side.
What does it mean if you are someone who only loves others, giving of yourself freely without any boundaries? Let me tell you, playing the martyr is not rewarding or validating and only leaves you and the other person resentful.
Work to recognize when doing what is best for you first might sometimes have you prioritizing your needs and desires above someone else's. This is a healthy part of defining who we are as individuals and crucial to know your own gauge for self-love. Remember, only when we know intrinsically that we have value to be loved, can we give love cleanly.