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Four marriage myths that cause divorce

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Gay Sex photo Four marriage myths that cause divorce.

If you are getting your divorce advice at the corner bar, you will probably find many people who believe all of the following statements about divorce and marriage to be True. Joe the bartender may lend you a sympathetic ear, but for advice you are better off going to a lawyer. Divorce myths are fictions people tell each other - the "conventional wisdom," as John Kenneth Galbraith once termed Four marriage myths that cause divorce.

They are popular beliefs and notions, and they are wrong. Divorce myths thrive and propagate because some of them are comforting. These fictions work - that is, people believe them - because many of them often make a kind of intuitive sense. Some of them seem approachable via common sense; they are wrong nonetheless. People take comfort from them because they hold forth hope. In the human heart, hope does spring eternal.

What follows are an examination of a number of the most popular and enduring myths attached to divorce. Divorce myths perpetuate themselves because the sharp edges of divorce cut so deeply into the human condition. It is OK to deny visitation if the other parent does not pay child support. This situation comes up when the noncustodial parent, who is usually that father, falls behind in his child support, and the custodial parent, who is usually the mother, decides that his delinquency justifies shutting him out of his children's lives.

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This she cannot do. In the eyes of the judge, child support and child visitation are separate issues. Courts frown on parents even attempting to use one to leverage the other. Child support is not payment for the privilege of visitation. A custodial mother whose former husband fails to pay child support must go to court; she cannot take matters in her own hands with a lockout. Denying visitation may make the equally ill-informed noncustodial parent feel justified about not paying child support.

Increasingly, courts view divorce as the dissolution of an economic unit, and in many jurisdictions, bad conduct during the marriage - infidelity - is not even considered in the division and distribution of Four marriage myths that cause divorce marital estate.

So if a couple is parting ways in a no-fault, no-contest action, adultery, even if it is the case, will not enter into the property settlement.

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In some states, judges may consider conduct during the marriage as a matter of judicial discretion, but bad conduct in this case usually deals with economic misconduct, that is, the dissipation or secretion of assets. Some angry women may be tempted to use adultery as a ground for divorce, but most lawyers advise against it.

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Adultery, even when it is the case, must be proved, and if there is nothing to be gained, the effort is not worth it, particularly when there are children involved since the aftermath of such a court action is liable to be bitter.

In the old days before no-fault divorceone spouse could make it all but impossible for the other to end the marriage.